But He Can't Stop My Tears
by Rae of Rosemary
Summary: Semi sequal to 'To Find Your God Within' But can stand alone. Sango's fondest memory of Miroku. Now with Inu, Shippo, and Kirara's POVs up. Series of ficlets.
1. But He Can't Stop My Tears

Title: But He Can't Stop My Tears  
  
Summary: Sango's fondest memory after the death of Miroku. Can stand alone but is a semi-sequel to 'To Find Your God Within'.  
  
Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing.  
  
Genre: Angst, a dash of romance.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
A/N: Enjoy!!  
  
He stopped the rain for me.  
  
It was one of those times, when the whole day had been bad. I wasn't feeling well, we had been walking forever and I was tired and hungry and just flat out in a bad mood. I was lagging behind, letting the group go ahead of me, partly so I could be alone with my thoughts, and partly so I wouldn't have to deal with Miroku-sama's dreadful, never ending optimism and Shippo's happy-go-lucky chipper-ness. Then of course, it started to rain.  
  
I had muttered many bad words beneath my breath, but didn't bother increasing my pace, though I knew the others were bound to. I could be stuck by lightning and it wouldn't have mattered. I was just considering whether or not I should go and catch up when I saw a black and purple robed figure coming for me. Great. Miroku-sama wanted to play hero. He stopped next to me and matched his pace to mine, smiling at me. "Go away." I had said, figuring that subtle hints weren't going to work this time. Apparently the flat-out obvious ones wouldn't either, because he just walked there, smiling.  
  
"Does the rain bother you, Sango?" He asked.  
  
"Didn't I tell you to go away?" I muttered in reply.  
  
"Does it?" He persisted.  
  
I lost my temper. "Yes, you annoying monk, the rain bothers me, and unless you think you can do something about it, go away!"  
  
"Would you like me to?" he asked, surprising me. I had thought he would have gotten the hint.  
  
"Like you to what?"  
  
"Stop the rain."  
  
"Miroku, what on earth are you taking about?"  
  
He didn't answer me in words, but instead started a quiet chant, spinning his staff horizontal in the air above our heads. He muttered the final word, and then slammed the bottom of his staff into the ground at our feet. A shining silvery-blue dome expanded from it, creating a shield above our heads. It was a weak one, which even Myoga could have gotten through, but it stopped the rain.  
  
I looked at him with slightly narrowed eyes. "Why bother?" I had asked, gesturing to the shield.  
  
"Because," he had smiled, "The rain bothered you. You see, Sango dear, for you, I would do anything you desired. I would even stop the rain."  
  
And he had. That was probably the single sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me, and the first time Miroku had done something chivalrous without groping me directly afterward.  
  
But he's gone now.  
  
He said he would do anything for me. He stopped the rain.  
  
Oh, Miroku. Where are you now?  
  
Why aren't you here to stop my tears? 


	2. Damn Monk

Title: Damn Monk

Summary: Inuyasha's musings after the death of Miroku. Can stand alone but is a semi-sequel to 'To Find Your God Within'. 

Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing.

Genre: Angst.

Rating: PG

A/N: Enjoy!!

Damn monk. Don't know what got into you. Going off and killing yourself like that. If you had really wanted to die, you should have come to me. If I had known what it would have been like, now, after this, I would have killed you myself.

Damn monk. Now Sango won't stop crying. She thinks it's her fault. Kagome tries to comfort her, but just ends up crying herself. Shippo has suddenly grown up, and seems to be trying to take your place. Kirara looks more like a kitten and less like a demon. I haven't got a clue what to do to make them shut up.

I think I may just run off and leave them here. You've already half killed them; If I leave maybe it'll hurt them enough that they can't feel it anymore. That's how I survived. That's how you survived. Yeah, monk. Don't think I never saw those cuts on your arms. Don't think I didn't smell the blood late at night. Don't think I didn't know what those long sleeves are really for. We've both done it. When something hurts, just make it hurt even more, and it'll go numb. That's how you lived.

That's why you aren't here now, isn't it? Was it an accident? Did you cut too deep? Did it slip more than you wanted it to? Or did you do this entirely on purpose? Did you really hate this world that much?

Or did you think you were protecting somebody? Us, the group, by removing the wind tunnel from your hand? The world in general? Well, guess again, monk. You just made that final battle with Naraku on hell of a lot harder. We could have used your help. That stupid thing would have come back no matter how many times I put Tetsigua through his head. But nothing comes back from that tunnel of yours. At least, if there was a way, we'll never know now.

I looked under it. Your beads, the seal you kept on it. It's gone now, that thing you hated so much. Sango and Kagome saw your hand and just started crying again. Feh. Women. They don't know what true pain is. I guess they'll learn soon enough, if they haven't yet. That's the kind of pain we hold, ne, monk? Held, anyway, in your case.

Kinda almost wish you hadn't gone and offed yourself. Don't know what the hell to do about all these crying women. You were always better at that sort of thing.

I think I might actually... just a little bit...miss you.

Damn monk.


	3. You'll See

Title: You'll See

Summary: Shippo's musings after the death of Miroku. Can stand alone but is a semi-sequel to 'To Find Your God Within'. 

Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing.

Genre: Angst.

Rating: PG

A/N: Enjoy!!

Oh, Miroku. We miss you, you know that? I bet you do. You always knew everything. You knew about all sorts of demons and spirits. You knew all the old legends. But you also always knew how to act. You could always make Inuyasha see reason, or explain something about our world to Kagome just right, or make Sango laugh and blush, even if she did hit you afterward. And you would always play with me and treat me like I was one of the group, instead of like an annoying fur ball that just happens to be around, like Inuyasha always does.

Always did. He doesn't anymore. I guess I should be glad. He hasn't hit me once since you've died.

I wish he would. Just once. Then Kagome would start yelling at him and I could milk it for all it was worth and Sango could laugh at them and insist that they were in love…

But that won't happen anymore, will it? At least not for a long time. My family is dead, remember? I know what it's like. And you were family, Miroku. It takes a long time to get over family. But maybe I can help. It's what you'd want me to do, isn't it? I'll do it, Miroku. I'll grow to be as strong as you were, Miroku. I'll learn everything. I'll explain things to Kagome, and I'll try to keep Inuyasha in line (if he doesn't hit me) and I'll make Sango smile again. You'll see. I'll be smart and strong and loyal and everything you were… (But maybe less of a pervert. I don't see how you can actually like girls…yuk!)

But I will. I promise, Miroku. You'll see.


	4. Why Are You Gone?

Title: Why Are You Gone?

Summary: Kirara's musings after the death of Miroku. Can stand alone but is a semi-sequel to 'To Find Your God Within'. 

Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing.

Genre: Angst.

Rating: PG

A/N: Enjoy!!

You are gone, now, human child. I could smell it on your body, on the way you lay so still, so very still. You were strong, human child, and young. Why are you gone? There is blood on you, but no demon-claws, no teeth marks. Your blood is still on you, as is your flesh. You were not prey. You were not old, either, human child, even for a race with such short lives as your own. Your heart did not give out in a hunt; you were not killed for a position in your pack.

So why are you gone, human child?

I do know this: Even though the sorrow that surrounded you is gone, that of my mistress, your mate- though you denied it- has multiplied many times over, as has that of your pack. None of them will speak any more. The kit-child smiles always around my mistress, and sits very close to her and the other female, saying kind words, but I can feel the sorrow around him, as well. The demon-man-child- for he is not so very old, either, has sorrow and anger about him all the time. He has had me spar with him many times since you have gone, ignoring his fang-sword and instead using his claws and feet as a demon should. He is very strong, a worthy opponent, and we often come back to this abandoned den that we have taken over worn and tired, sore and dirty. I have also seen him sneak off through the forests in the night. He goes to the flowing water not far from here and swims, or kneels at the edge, simply staring into the water. Sometimes rain comes from his eyes and his sorrow grows even greater, and he speaks quietly to the water, or screams at the heavens.

One of the times, the kit-child followed him to the flowing water. He sat next to him as he did for my mistress and the other female- her litter sister who was not- and spoke to him as he did to them. The demon-man-child spoke to him for a time as well, and then the rain came from both of their eyes. After that time, the demon-man-child treated the kit-child more as a litter-mate than a disobedient cub.

Perhaps good has come of your death, human child. Pain brings strength, after all, and somehow, your death has hurt them badly. But still, human child…I cannot understand why you are gone.


End file.
